marital & relationship disagreements

 All relationships have twists,turns and speed bumps but when do you know when your headed for a dead end?Sometimes the signs are hard to see.

I have known of several marriages that ended in divorce after 10,20 and even 30+ years.It makes me uncertain if love is real, or just a habit? After being with someone for that amount of time how can someone be sure they were ever in love in the first place?Maybe they were just attracted and then the relationship became comforting, or maybe they just had such chemistry in the begining that they couldn't stay away from each other.

How do you know when you have the real thing?True, pure, unconditional love? I'm not sure that it really exist in the way that most people view it.When you are first meeting someone every thing is so new and exciting.Your hormones or new interest may cause you to think about someone constantly and they do few things that get on your nerves or "bug" you.But, after you live with that person or your married to them, they will repedativly do certain things that drive you nuts! You learn all about someone and it is no longer exciting.

Now, I also know several older couples that have been married 50+ years and been through everything together.I once ask a older lady what the secret to a good marriage was, she told me that she had learned to keep her mouth shut even if she was 100% right and let him win a argument every once in a while......I thought,Really?That's it? This couple had been together for 60 or 70 years.They were married when they were teens and had stuck together through the years-through the good,bad and ugly. They still often disagree to this day.

After that being said, I ask myself if this is always the case? or are there really couples out there that always agree on the decor,children,money and religion?Is it worth having a partner for years or easier to just do it yourself ? I am a christian and I do believe that god made woman to accompany men and children need both. Are people now days too independent, impatient, or down right stubborn to create the magic that is known as "true love"?

I guess that relationships are what you make them but be sure and get what you want and need before you deeply commit to another.

I would love to hear some feed back from this hub, thanks for reading!